I choose to live by a code of conduct (ARATAcode) designed to empower me to do my part to create a world of peace by helping to end the abuse and violence being perpetrated by men. There are so many terrible things happening in our world today because boys were physically and emotionally abused and grew up to be perpetrators. I’m determined to by 2015 provide a million men in crisis the practical guidance, tools and inspiration to enable them to resolve and prevent conflict in their homes, families and workplaces.
I’m an advocate for men’s emotional maturity and I recently wrote a book for men with the challenging title “Wake Up, Man Up, Step Up”, a passionate, vulnerable expression of my path to emotional maturity.
I live passionately, whether I’m riding my bicycle, hiking, practicing yoga, speaking, running workshops, counseling men or doing my real jobs as husband, father, uncle and son where I get to practice what I preach.
I’ve got to thank my first wife for dropping the Volkswagon on my head by ending our marriage. Like a lot of men I was sleepwalking through my life and it took something dramatic to wake me up.”
“Waking Up” was only the beginning. I had to “Man Up” through individual, couples and family therapy, become initiated into the ManKind project, do leadership trainings, go into Folsom and other prisons to work with inmates, practice Zen, and only 20,000 or so hours later become able to “Step Up” into this big mission of writing a book and over the next two years helping a million men on their journey to conscious manhood.
Working in prisons exposes me to the understanding that most perpetrators were abused and victimized by unconscious parents and other adults. I’ve seen serious offenders, men who have to risk their lives just to come to our workshops, open their hearts and go from angry and dangerous to repentant, compassionate men I love like brothers. They help me to see similar openings are possible for the rest of us men, corporate leaders included.
On May 1st we have launched a crowdfunding campaign to Crowd-Author a book as part of my mission to reduce violence and abuse in the world by helping men mature emotionally. You can pledge here on May 1st.PLEDGE HERE
Whether it’s the job you hate, children you can’t control, money problems, a broken relationship, addiction, loneliness or the nagging realization that something is just not right. Men in crisis need tools to help them stabilize, understand how they developed the patterns that created the problems they’re having and build the support it takes to change and maintain the changes.
I created a code of conduct (ARATAcode.com) by playing around with the letters of my last name. Awareness, Responsibility, Accountability, Tenacity, and Acceptance, define the basics of what I expect from myself and from the men with whom I work. Just look at our world. Men commit 90 percent of the violent acts. Every year men rape more than a quarter of a million women. Right now men are holding 12.3 million women and children as sex slaves. We know how to break the cycle of abuse that turns boys into predators and we know how to help men in crisis find their way. We need a movement to help men all over the world learn emotional maturity. I feel called to help them do it.